BLACK EYE

KEYSTONE KOPS AT IT AGAIN!!!

Apparently our city cops were out on a chase’em, shoot’em up night, sorry, Saturday morning, when they tried to stop a pickup truck (oh no, not a pickup truck) racing around the Nutana area that they were pursuing on a possible domestic assault. They tried their best to stop it with their usual methods, tire deflation device #1, (cop-speak for a garden rake without handle lying down, tongs pointing up) then method #2, attempting to shoot out the tires! Result, two officers injured! The truck was then off to somewhere around Circle Drive and 11 St where once again, their proven tire deflation devices (that’s plural) failed them so off went the truck again! This time, to Fairlight Drive where it collides with a cop car, pinning the cop in the passenger side so the cop driving was compelled to hop out and, once again, try the “shoot out the tires” method #2 approach, and once again, unsuccessfully, as the truck then raced away to Clancy Drive where it came to rest. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, two other cop cars no doubt in hot pursuit, collide with each other on 11th Street, injuring two more cops!!! This episode is far better than it’s silent movie equivalent in days gone by!

What’s most disturbing about this farcical comedy event is not only that perhaps as many as four cops, maybe more, were injured but also four police cars damaged and all the while who knows how many innocent citizens lives were at risk!!! What makes this even more laughable is that it all could have ended, perhaps even safely, if the cops had simply employed their best weapon of all . . . some patience and their ever so expensive, but obviously underutilized, method #3 . . . their airplane!!! Think about it, they could have followed the truck until it stopped at its ultimate destination or even just for gas and a Big Gulp, whereupon they could have pounced upon the driver and then employed tasers, their method #4!

Apparently, the incident is under review and no doubt will be scrutinized by a large group of cops watching their fellow thin line members Axon 2 body camera video footage on a large screen TV in the white shirt’s lounge over a few tall ones . . . that is if their stars remembered to even turn their cameras on! Stay tuned for the next episode whenever the review completes, sometime likely after their contract renews in time for another property tax hike!!!